Lady Gaga knows that your harshest critic can often be yourself, and channeled that difficult self-awareness (and overcoming it) in a number of her Chromatica-era songs, including “Fun Tonight.”
“I think it’s one of the saddest songs on the album,” Gaga shared in an interview with American Songwriter this week. “I think it might be the saddest song on the record. Because I’m really singing to myself.”
“I was kind of incapable at certain moments of being happy for other people when they were having fun. And I would sit with myself and think, ‘I don’t care how many people I see dancing or smiling right now. I cannot have fun,’” she continued. “Then after I wrote the record, I listened back to it and I said, ‘I’m singing to myself.’ You know, I said, ‘I’m feeling the way that I’m feeling with you / I stare at the girl in the mirror / she talks to me too.’ That girl’s me, right? Then I said, ‘I can see it in your eyes,’ which means my eyes! ‘I can see it in your eyes, which are looking for alright / I’m just sick of acting like I’m having fun tonight. I can see it in your face.’ That means my face. I can see it in my face – ‘You don’t think you pull your weight.’ I mean, that’s just the truth. I was very hard on myself. I hope that when people listen to that song and they relate to it that they know shaming yourself for feeling down is not helpful. It happens but it’s not helpful.”
While discussing the all-too-familiar topic further, she also brought up “911” off her latest dance-infused album. “Because you’re just kicking yourself when you’re already down. You wouldn’t do that to a friend would you? If they were sad, you wouldn’t say, ‘Oh, you suck for being sad!’ Right?” she explained.
“You would give them a hug. You would cheer them on. I think that our biggest enemies are ourselves. I say that in ‘911’ – my biggest enemy is me. I say mean things to myself in my head all the time. And I have to turn away and I remind myself that’s a “me” voice in my head. But that’s not the real me. The real me would never say that to anyone else. So, why on earth am I saying it to myself?”
Read the full interview here.